Dear Baby Boy

Dear Baby Boy,

I don't know If I'm ready for this whole birth thing (not to mention, parenthood), but I'm ready for this stage to end.

I am feeling so frustrated by my limited capabilities. I'm tired all the time. Breathless. Unable to hold myself upright. My muscles are constantly feeling stretched out, sore, aching. I'm having more tailbone pain. And hip pain. Still suffering through feeling nauseated every day or two (still doped up on zofran, unisom and B6 all the time too!). Thankfully the leg cramps have not been as bad - they were waking me up at least once a night. I have to pee every hour, or more. When I'm in bed, I  have to switch sides just as often too, because my hips go numb and ache, and send pain down my legs. I've had the worst pain I've felt over the past 2 days. It's like a low stomping on my cervix, almost like cramps. It takes my breath away, and brings tears to my eyes. If you keep this up, its going to be a long month...

Okay, enough complaining. Life isn't ALL misery. There are some good things too, I promise!

I like to guess what part of you is where, based on the kicks, jabs and bumps I'm feeling almost constantly. I also like to assume what you like and don't like, depending on your activity. "Someone likes this chocolate," or "Someone is not a fan of... (whatever it is I'm doing or something Luke says)."

My favorite thing right now - Kitty curling up to my belly. You seem to like kicking her when she does this. I've had to train her to not sit on my belly anymore, but she does love to cuddle. Either you like it too, or you're getting a head start on torturing her.

My favorite place right now is the pool at BYU! You seem to enjoy it as well. I'm not very fast, but it feels good to take some of the weight off my body. I alternate between swimming breaststroke and walking the laps. Best idea ever!

Like I said, you are almost always on the move these days. However, you tend to be very busy in the early afternoons and around bedtime. Also, you generally move a lot right after I eat.

I'm getting really stoked to be done working - it feels like a lot more work, even though I've been doing less, and working less hours the past few months. I'm also really excited for Luke's 3 week winter break!

I can't believe the year is almost over, and at the same time, I want to fast forward the next month!! I'm getting so excited to hold you in my arms!

Love,
Mommy