tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-89091445485251473992024-03-13T13:23:24.822-07:00Our AdventuresJust a blog for our friends and family to keep track of us, and for me to post all my random thoughts and pics. Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16085587215451486468noreply@blogger.comBlogger92125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8909144548525147399.post-13825302712101875382014-01-18T21:08:00.000-08:002014-01-18T21:47:11.341-08:00Jesse David Ray: Our Birth Story<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Preface: This is a really long, detailed post. There's a lot to tell, and I didn't want to forget any of it. I also do a lot of reflecting toward the end. </i></div>
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<br /></div>
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I've been putting off writing this post - and for more than
my usual procrastinatory reasons (yeah, I'm pretty sure I made that word up).
Jesse's birth was literally the most traumatic experience of my life, both
physically and psychologically, and I'm still healing. I'm also still trying to
sort through and fully analyze what I went through, how I feel about it, and
trying to come to terms with it all.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
At the same time, I came away from
it with the most beautiful little miracle. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<i>My son.</i> <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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That phrase still feels so foreign
to me...but loving this baby has been as easy as breathing. Learning to live
this new life with a baby – now that's another story altogether. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Back to the story at hand: Jesse's
birth. I guess I'll just start at the beginning...not the real beginning; the
beginning of the end, I suppose. The end of my pregnancy, that is.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<b>Friday, January 18:<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
We were six days “past due” (which
I still argue with, based on my previous calculations of conception, and
considering how my body performed over the next two days). I was scheduled to
go in for a non-stress test at the hospital that morning. Thankfully Luke had
the day off, due to it being a holiday weekend. At that point, I wasn't worried
about the test, since I had been feeling relatively good (other than extremely
pregnant). I even packed my swim gear, thinking that we could hit up the pool
at the rec center on the way back from the hospital. I hadn't had any signs of
labor at this point - no contractions, no leaking, nothing to indicate I would
be having a baby soon – just lots of bouncing around from the little guy
inside.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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We made our way over to maternal
fetal medicine, and they took us back to a room. They hooked me up to a machine
(it was very ghetto - the nurse seemed not to know what she was doing, and the
monitors kept coming off) where they asked me a million questions, and then we
spent the next thirty minutes or so listening to the baby's heartbeat. It was
phenomenal, by the way. There was a very healthy boy in there. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Then we headed into another room
for an ultrasound. The nurse helping us explained that we would be checking
fluid levels and baby's cord, to make sure he was doing okay in there. She was
older, and very opinionated. She seemed very sure that because I was past my
due date, I would be induced <i>that day</i>.
I explained to her that my doctor had agreed to let me wait until 2 weeks past
due to be induced as long as I came in for these tests over the next week. The
nurse expressed disapprovingly that she thought that was a very bad idea, and
that I should just be induced. She didn't seem all that impressed with my
natural birth plan. I didn't really care what she thought, and I just wanted
her to be quiet and do her job.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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As she started looking around via
ultrasound, the nurse told us it looked like the amniotic fluid levels were
low. She took some measurements, forwarded them to my doctor, Heather
Harrison's office, then told us we were looking at pretty low fluid levels and
that Heather was probably going to want to start induction. Looking back, I
understand what she was trying to say, and that she was only doing her job;
however, her attitude up to that point had really bothered me. I felt like once
she had diagnosed the AFL, she became vindicated, adopting an “I told you so”
attitude.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
Luke and I sat in the room for a
few minutes while waiting to hear back from Heather. I was starting to get
upset, and Luke talked me through the likely scenario of being admitted to the
hospital. I really didn't feel like I was in the right place to start the
process, and I was frustrated that things were not going the way I had wanted
and anticipated. I told Luke I wanted to do this on my terms, and I needed to
get into a better mental state before we started. When the nurse returned and
told us that Heather had said to go upstairs to the Labor & Delivery ward,
Luke hinted that we might make a quick stop home along the way. The nurse was a
champ about that, thankfully. She said that she was telling us to go
immediately to L & D, per our doctor's orders, but that hypothetically, we
would not be in any danger by postponing our check-in by an hour.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
At the time, I felt like the nurse
had pushed her agenda of induction to interfere with my plan. I even made Luke
look up info on low amniotic fluid levels and the danger we were supposedly in
once we got checked into the hospital. We've both done some more research
since, and have realized that: 1 - it actually is quite common for the fluid
levels to be low at that stage of pregnancy, 2 - it's possible the fluid had
been low for some time, and 3 - I wasn't having any of the other symptoms of
issues associated with low AFL. So, yes, there was technically a potential
threat to my baby. At the same time, if it was really that big of an issue, my
question is, why did we not do any mid-to-late-pregnancy ultrasounds to monitor
the fluid levels? I came to the conclusion that it's more based on how the baby
is acting...so we probably weren't in as much danger as everyone scared us into
believing. At the same time, I <i>am</i>
glad that we didn't have to learn the hard way by having something happen to
Jesse due to low AFL. Ultimately, it all worked out in the end, with a healthy
mom and a healthy baby, for which I am grateful (this is a recurring theme to
many of the events that took place during the 43 hours of my labor). How I feel
about the rest of it, well, I will get into that later. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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We left the office, and on our way
out of the hospital we ran into my cousin Andrew, who was working there. He was
the first person who we told, “we’re having a baby today!” (or so we thought…).
We headed home, and I was trying desperately to stay calm. We ate a quick
lunch, and then finished packing our birth bag (yes, I was a week past due, and
hadn't finished packing!). Then I took a few minutes to just sit and relax,
clearing my head, and listening to my <a href="https://www.hypnobabies.com/">hypnobabies
</a>tracks.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
I took a deep breath, and we got in
the car. For a few minutes, it felt like time itself had slowed. I was
hyper-aware of everything - my breathing, the chilled air against my skin, the
sun warming my face, the smell of leather in our car and my baby kicking up a
storm in my belly. I started feeling good. I hadn't planned for this, I hadn't
expected it, but I accepted that I was going to be having my baby and I felt
ready to get started.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
I looked around as we drove,
appreciating the beautiful day. The sun was bright, and the sky was a clear
January blue. Snow covered the ground, piled high in places. I continued to
tell myself that I was ready to do this. I’m not sure I was completely
convinced. It seemed we arrived at the hospital too soon.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
We made our way up to L & D,
where we got checked in at about 2:30 PM. We also talked to Heather on the
phone, who half-teasingly scolded us for being late. She said she would be
monitoring me from her office, and would have the nurses keep in contact with
her as things progressed. We were taken to our room, and greeted by our nurse,
Emily. She helped me get situated, and we talked about what Heather wanted us
to do. Obviously, my body wasn't ready to have a baby, with no signs of labor,
so we had to start it artificially.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
We started with Cytotec, a drug
inserted vaginally to help start dilation. Due to our supposed AFL problems,
they had tagged me as a high-risk birth and I had to be hooked up to monitors
the whole time, which meant I couldn't be mobile. That frustrated me from the
get-go, since I had been practicing different laboring positions...none of
which involved being strapped to a bed. Emily also placed the hep-lock in my
vein, in case they needed to give me anything via IV.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
The Cytotec was to be administered
every 3 hours, depending on dilation. Emily explained that it started working
for most women by the second dose, but that sometimes a third dose was needed.
Almost immediately, I started cramping from the Cytotec, which was good because
it was supposed to do that. But, unfortunately, I didn't dilate.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
Luke left for a little bit to go get
a couple things from the house and to pick up some dinner for himself. I told
him to bring one of my DVDs (season one of How I Met Your Mother, which he
couldn't find...because I don't own it, even though I thought I did. So he went
to the store to try find it). He returned with some fast food, which I made him
eat outside of my room (fast food smells for the lose!), and we attempted to
watch a couple episodes of HIMYM.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
Emily administered the second dose
of Cytotec at 6:00 PM, and then introduced us to her replacement, Stephanie.
Stephanie administered my 9:00 PM dose (the third one), and then came in around
midnight to check my dilation. I still hadn't dilated at all, despite the
lovely cramps I had been suffering through all evening. She called Heather, who
suggested a fourth dose of Cytotec – not commonly administered, but I think
Heather was trying to accommodate my natural birth plan. She told the nurse that
if that didn't work, we'd start Pitocin.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<b>Saturday, January 19:<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
Unfortunately, the fourth dose also
did nothing. So at about 3:30 AM I was introduced to our next nurse, another
Stephanie, and I was given my first IV with Pitocin. Heather wanted it ramped
up as quickly as possible to see if it would jump-start my dilation, so I was
quickly moved to the highest dose of Pit. Nothing happened except for almost
constant contractions (on top of all the cramping).<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
By this time, it was mid-morning
(8-ish, I think), and we got to meet nurse number 4 - Chelsie. I was constantly
being monitored and was frequently checked for dilation. Neither Luke nor I had
slept for more than a couple hours total.
Going to the bathroom was an ordeal (unhooking the monitors, dragging
around my IV and all the cords), made all the more inconvenient by the fluids
being pumped into me and the baby treating my bladder like a pair of bongos,
causing me to have to go frequently! I'd been trying desperately to stay
positive and in a relaxed state, listening to my hypnosis tracks almost
constantly. However, I was starting to feel a little dejected, and I was frustrated
that my body wasn't cooperating.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
My contractions were so frequent
and intense that Heather had Chelsie turn the Pit down a little bit. That was
almost a nice break ;) A couple more hours passed and the Pitocin was turned
back up. We met our next nurse, Debbie, who was older and much more opinionated
than the other nurses had been. She wanted to get the baby out as quickly as
possible, and didn't seem to understand my desire to do things naturally.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
At 11 AM, Heather came in to see
us. She was concerned with my lack of progress, but understanding my desires
for a natural birth, she suggested we try using a <a href="http://www.medgadget.com/2007/07/the_cook_cervical_ripening_balloon.html">cervical
balloon</a> (which she and I had discussed previously). The idea behind this
procedure is to put pressure on the cervix and simulate baby's head coming down,
which is supposed to get dilation going. The only problem is, the cervix
usually needs to be open far enough to insert the catheter with the balloon
attached. Mine wasn't. I was told the procedure isn't painless, but generally
is really quick to insert, and then it starts working. Of course I had to be
the exception to this.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
More than 45 painful minutes (and a
lot of blood and tears) later, Heather had finally inserted the catheter. I was
now dilated to a 2, mostly because she'd had to shred my cervix to insert the
catheter. Apparently I was still shut so tight that the catheter wouldn't go
in. She'd had to try several times to get it in, and make it stay. The
procedure exhausted me, and hurt a metric shit-ton (exact measure).
Unfortunately (or not?), I didn't get much rest after that, because the weight
of the balloon had ramped up my contractions and given me a stomachache and
headache. Oh, and apparently they didn't have the normal cervical balloon
equipment, so the nurse had to jimmy-rig a weight to hang from the end of the
catheter for me – a 10-pound IV fluid bag that hung off the side of the bed and
applied constant, heavy, painful pressure to my cervix. I’ve heard of being
hung by your hair as torture – I would put this in a similarly painful and even
more personally violating category. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
The afternoon passed in a slow
daze. I felt really sick, and hoped that meant that things were progressing. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
At about 2 PM, the balloon fell out
(meaning I had dilated to 4 cm). We got even more excited about an hour later
when my water broke. Things seemed to be moving forward, thankfully, since I'd
been in hard labor for 24 hours now.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
Sadly, that was the last bit of
good news we had for a while. At my next cervical check, I was dilated to
not-quite-a-4-anymore. Right. Moving backwards. Not what I wanted to hear. I
think that by this point I was just completely exhausted, and my body was
starting to resist my attempts to relax and progress. Over the next few hours my
cervix closed back up to a 3, and stayed there. I was trying so hard to stay
positive, but I hurt, I was tired, I was hungry, and I was incredibly frustrated
by the entire process. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
At around 6 PM, we met our 6th
nurse, Laura. Both Luke and I really liked her. She seemed very kind, soft
spoken, and nurturing. She definitely gave me a lot of moral support, talking
to me about what I was going through (I think she said she had 3 kids of her
own), and trying to keep me positive.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
As the evening progressed and it
became clear that I was not getting any nearer to having a baby, Luke talked
with Laura, in a very roundabout way, about our options. They discussed Laura's
positive experiences birthing her kids naturally, but with the added help of an
epidural. I semi-listened while trying desperately to relax. Somehow, the
harder I tried, the less relaxed I felt.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
By about 9 PM, I was in tears from
the pain and the emotional and physical exhaustion. After being told over and
over in the past 30 hours that "as soon as [such and such] happens, you'll
be having your baby," and "your baby will be here before you know
it," I was feeling pretty hopeless. Luke very gently suggested that I
might need a little help to get me through the rest of this birth. I know he
was really having a hard time watching me suffer, but at the same time, he
wanted to respect my decision to give birth the way I wanted to. I'm sure it
was a really difficult place for him to be (at the time, though, I wasn't
exactly focused on his misery...mine was blaring right in front of me, after
all).<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
We discussed what my body was doing
(stalling), and why (lack of relaxation, most likely). We talked about our options.
To this point, our baby's vitals had looked amazing, so Heather was letting me
do things my way (more or less, minus an early induction, monitors hanging all
over me, a sleepless night, a shredded cervix, and a torture ritual that James
Bond would probably not have survived). However, if this changed, we both knew
she would hurry the birth process however she had to in order to get him out
(i.e. a C-section, which threat hung like a fog over my head as every moment
passed, and which in my mind, was one of the worst possible outcomes to this
whole situation). It was clear that my body and my baby were refusing to comply
with the medical interventions we had used to get the birth process going. In
order for me to continue on the path to my "natural" birth, I needed
to somehow get my body to relax enough to let the Pitocin dilate me. I had
known for a couple hours that my hypnosis techniques were not cutting it
anymore. I was also very angry, which was definitely not contributing to any
relaxation. I was angry at my body for not complying with the doctor's orders.
I was angry with the results of the non-stress test, which had led to this
whole ordeal. I was angry that I wasn't having the birth I wanted and had spent
so much time envisioning and preparing for. I was angry that I couldn't relax. Most
of all, I was scared that I was going to need a C-section to get my baby out,
or that something else would go wrong.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
After talking all this out with
Luke, I finally determined that I did need some help. I had done all that I
could, for as long as I could, but it wasn't enough. I called for Laura, and
told her that I was ready for an epidural. Then she left to call the
anesthesiologist, and I cried some more, feeling like I had just given up my
last hope of this birth happening the way I wanted it to.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
The anesthesiologist came in just
before 11 PM and talked me through the procedure while he got set up. I
remember an uncomfortable sensation as he inserted the needle, but it wasn't as
bad as I had expected it to be. Very soon after, I felt such an instant,
incredible absence of pain that I praised the anesthesiologist. When he came
back to check on me to make sure the drugs had kicked in, I told him that he
was my new best friend. He laughed and said he heard that a lot.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
From this point on, things felt
different. Well first of all, they <i>felt great!</i> I was so happy to
not be feeling the cramps and contractions and I could finally relax. As much
as one can relax while hooked up to all sorts of machines and having nurses
come in and check things like blood pressure and other very personal areas every
30 minutes. Luke and I were finally able to get a little sleep. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
Unfortunately, through this
process, I learned that I am one of the lucky ones whose body doesn't take to
anesthesia very well, and I kept getting un-numb on the side I wasn't laying
on. In addition to having my vitals tested and my dilation checked frequently
throughout the night, I had to be turned every hour to keep the medication
working. It was okay though, because I was feeling so much better. Also, every
check of my cervix revealed progress (FINALLY!!!), and I ended up dilating
about a centimeter an hour over the next 7 hours.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<b>Sunday, January 20:<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
The night was not overly restful,
but in comparison to the previous day/night/day, it was bliss! Best of all, it was
starting to look like I would actually be having my baby. At 6 in the morning,
I was fully dilated to 10 centimeters. We had to say goodbye to Laura, but we were
introduced to Mandy, who became our new favorite nurse. Yes, this was our seventh
nurse in L & D...we even had one of the previous nurses (one of the
Stephanies, I think) stop by in the morning to say hi as she started her next
shift!<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
Mandy was great! She was upbeat and
friendly, and she was very excited to be with us for the culmination of our
time in L & D. When she checked me and told me I was dilated to a 10, she
said that we needed to wait another hour before pushing to "rest and
descend" (basically to allow baby time to get into place). We waited until
the hour passed.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
I started pushing at 7:15, with
Mandy there to help coach me. I wasn't feeling the pain of my contractions,
thanks to the epidural. However, the pushing was really difficult. I didn't
like the position I had to be in, and the baby kept pushing back. His foot was
lodged in my ribcage for almost an hour, which made breathing extremely
difficult. By the time Heather got to the hospital, at about 8:30, I was ready
to be done. Ha!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
Heather checked me and said that I
hadn't made as much progress as she would have liked. The baby was turned
sideways and was stuck on my pubic bone, so he wasn't responding to the pushing
like he should have been. That was frustrating. For the next half hour, I
pushed while Heather turned the baby and held him in place between contractions.
Finally, he decided to stay where she put him, and we were able to move on.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
I was holding my breath a lot
during the pushing phases (it’s impossible to breathe in while pushing out),
and the baby’s heart rate was rising a little in response. As a result, I had
to be put on oxygen for a while, which was really annoying. It was just one
more thing that made pushing more difficult. Then, because my contractions were
so far apart, but were lasting so long, Heather had me start doing 5 sets of 8
second pushes instead of the normal 3 sets of 10. I don't feel like I've ever
had so little breath and energy to do something than that hour of pushing!<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
Up until about 9:30, I had been
listening to my "birthing day" hypnosis tracks. However, I started to
get really irritated by the narration, so I made Luke turn it off. I switched
to listening to the relaxation music tracks. My reason for this was sheer
frustration at the lack of my "wonderful, natural birth" and all the
coaching that "my body knew what it was doing." I was feeling very
betrayed by my body and its inability to do this the "right" way, and
I was trying not to be upset. Instead, I focused on listening to the relaxing
music, communicating with Luke, and visualizing my focal points. I had a
picture of Mt. Timpanogos framed and set next to me in the room that I kept
studying to remind me that this was just another hike, and once I got to the
summit, I would be feeling a lot different. I just had to get to the top of that
freaking mountain!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
Just before 10 AM, almost 3 hours
into this pushing marathon, Heather checked me again. One thing I love about
her is that she just gives it to you straight. At that moment though, I was
less than thrilled when she told me I was not progressing and we were running
out of time and options. The baby was just not responding to my pushing.
Heather told me I could either keep pushing for another half hour (which she
didn't recommend, due to how tired I was), she could use a vacuum to help the baby
come out, or we could move right into a C-section. Of course, we told her to go
ahead with the vacuum.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
As she was setting things up,
Heather explained that the vacuum usually helped with this kind of situation
(getting the baby under my pubic bone), with a few caveats. If the suction
broke more than 3 times off of baby's head, or if even with the vacuum, a half
hour passed, she would stop trying, and we would move into C-section. With the
dreaded "C-bomb" being dropped so many times, I was getting
apprehensive and worried that my body and baby would continue to make things
difficult. My fears only heightened when after my first push with the vacuum
attached, the suction broke. We made it through a few more pushes with the
vacuum before the suction broke a second time. Thankfully, at this point, our
little boy was just about out.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
Heather brought up two issues at
this point. She could see his head, but she was worried because his cord was
wrapped around his neck several times. She said she wanted to cut it, even
though he was still in the birth canal. We told her to go ahead. She also
expressed concern that she didn't think he would fit as he came out, and she
felt an episiotomy was necessary. Again, I told her to do whatever she needed
to do. She cut the umbilical cord (and stuff sprayed everywhere - thankfully up
to this point, I hadn't been able to see much of the gore. But when it got all
over my husband, I definitely noticed that...). Then she quickly cut me, and we
waited for my next contraction.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
When the contraction came, I pushed
with everything I had. I wanted my baby out, and I wanted to be done with the
rest. Thankfully, with me pushing, Heather pulling, and Luke and Mandy
coaching, it finally happened, and Jesse was born! It was 10:15, exactly 3
hours after I had started pushing, and just over 43 hours since I had started
Cytotec. I felt so relieved and thrilled that we had made it through to the
other side. However, because Heather had cut his cord while he was still
inside, and his oxygen supply had been cut off for about 2 minutes, Jesse didn't
respond when he first came out. It was an agonizingly long, terror-filled
minute of me clutching Luke while Heather and the nurses worked on him to get
him to start breathing. All I could think about was that after everything I had
just gone through to get my baby here, <i>he'd
better be okay</i>. Heather remained calm and reminded us that his heartbeat
had been very strong right up until he was born, so he should be okay. I have
to say, though – waiting for my brand new baby to breathe was one of the worst
feelings I have ever experienced in my life.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
Finally, we heard him cry. It was
the most beautiful little sound I had ever heard. Mandy brought him over to us.
He was so perfect! His head was pretty beat up from being pushed and pulled out
of his home, and he wasn't exactly happy, but he sure was precious. The three
of us sat there on that bed and cried together, holding each other, and loving
being together as a family for the first time.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
Jesse was weighed and measured, (8
pounds even, and 21 inches long), and despite all the trauma of the past three
days, he was healthy as a horse. Luke maintains that my dedication to a natural
birth and sacrifice throughout the process diverted the trauma from Jesse to
me. Had we made different decisions, he may have borne more of the brunt of the
trauma, but I chose to take it upon myself instead. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
After Jesse was weighed and bathed,
Mandy helped me to start nursing him. Heather stitched me up and cleaned things
up down there. I barely noticed. Everything was a blur, as I was simply focused
on cuddling my beautiful baby boy.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
Despite all the inconveniences, the
changing of plans, and the pain and suffering, my baby was here, and he was
healthy. Luke and I thanked Heather over and over again. She had, as much as her
profession allowed, let me do things the way I wanted.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Looking back:<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am still really frustrated by a lot of what went on over
the course of those three days. I know everyone was just trying to do their
jobs, and keep me and my baby healthy. However, I feel like what I wanted my
birth experience to be could have happened, had I done things differently. I
respect and appreciate my doctor very much for allowing me to labor my way
(even if it would have been faster and easier to intervene several times). I
suppose I had to learn a couple lessons the hard way – first, that I was strong
enough to handle the pain of labor, and second – that I needed to recognize my
limits (30+ hours of hard, un-medicated labor, with no significant progress),
and ask for help. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I also believe that childbirth in America is viewed in a
very different light than many other countries, and that the mainstream system
is designed to be efficient and convenient for the medical staff. I get that –
I worked in the medical and dental fields for years. At the same time, I feel
like it is a broken system, and is not focused where it should be – on what the
mother wants and needs (within the bounds of reason). When everything is done
to cover the doctor’s/hospital’s butts, the care is given much differently than
it could be if the focus were elsewhere. It is a system that works for a lot of
people, and I truly am glad it works for them. However, I do not believe it is
something that worked for me. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This whole ordeal was started because of a test that is only
done at the end of pregnancy. The research I’ve done in the past few months
indicates that induction due to low fluid levels seems to be a trump card for
the medical professionals to use in order to get babies out on their schedule.
Don’t get me wrong – I respect my doctor, and her professional opinion. I also
understand that the medical community is so heavily burdened by liability
issues that everyone has to follow protocols to stay “safe.” However, just
because it is the way these doctors do it, does not mean it’s the only way, or necessarily
the best way. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If I had to do it over again, knowing what I know now…well,
I probably would have elected to not be induced at this point. I would have
liked to wait for my body to signal that it was ready – especially since there
was no other sign of distress in my body or from my baby. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
However, if I had to go through the whole induction process
over again, I would have gotten the epidural <i>much sooner! </i>I truly believe that my inability to maintain a relaxed
state was a huge factor in dragging out my labor. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<s>If</s> When I choose to
do this again, I am seriously contemplating opting out of the medical doctor
option and working with a midwife in a birth center. I had a very healthy
pregnancy, and a healthy baby who did superbly throughout a traumatic labor
experience. Luke and I had originally looked into a couple of birth centers,
but let fear drive us into the arms of the normal western medicine hospital
birth. We then let fear push us into what we both believe to be unnecessary
intervention and induction. Next time around, I don’t think I will let myself
be afraid of what could go wrong. I’ve realized that that is no way to live
life, and having a baby is just another part of living life. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://www.centralutahclinic.com/providers/heather-harrison-do"><b>Dr. Harrison</b></a><b>:<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Like I said before, I truly do respect Heather. She is a
phenomenal doctor, and has such a great demeanor. She was always very willing
to listen to our concerns throughout my pregnancy, answer our <i>many</i> questions, and discuss everything
with us in detail. I’m really glad she was the doctor I chose for this
experience. I don’t believe I would have had as much liberty to do some of the
things I wanted had I been working with another doctor. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She’s also been a great doctor since Jesse was born. She’s a
family practice doctor, so we have continued seeing her for all his
appointments. I’ve been very pleased, and will be sad to leave her care next
year. I highly recommend her to anyone looking to get away from the assembly
line OBGYN’s that exist in abundance in Utah Valley. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Hypnobabies:<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As for my hypnosis training – I believe that it really did
help me in the beginning of my labor, to distract me from the pain. It was also
helpful throughout my pregnancy. I don’t feel like it completely took the pain
away, but it helped me keep my mind from focusing on it as much. I also
appreciated the perspective I gained from my training in looking at birth in a
different light. I really enjoyed the program I went through, and will probably
use it again in the future. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
On the other hand, I don’t proclaim it to be some miraculous
pain-relieving program, like I was told by several women who had used it in their
births. It did work well as a tool for me, an aid in my pain relief and
relaxation – to an extent. I began to feel very bitter toward the training I
received as I neared the end of my expedition. I felt as though I hadn’t been
fully prepared for what I encountered, and was ill-equipped to handle what I
had to go through. I feel like the mentality behind the hypnobabies training
was that everything will go right, and just avoid medical intervention (that’s
a gross oversimplification, but a pretty good takeaway of the philosophies
taught). That did nothing to help me at all, as I was thrust into a situation
brimming with medical interventions.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My birth experience also undid a lot of the mental coaching
that hypnobabies gave me. Many of the tracks are affirmations, which reiterate
the body’s ability to give birth naturally, as well as the lessening of
discomfort during labor. I had listened to these affirmations for months,
reinforcing that my body knew what it was doing, and could handle giving birth,
and that I needed to relax and allow my body to do its job. Well, being put
into an artificial induction situation, my body <i>didn’t </i>actually know what it was doing, so it didn’t. I believe my
body and my baby were not ready for me to give birth, which is why every
induction procedure I went through failed to achieve the desired results. Had I
been in an ideal natural birth setting, with my body prompting my baby to be
born, I believe things would have gone much differently. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Despite understanding that logically, I still struggle to
not blame my body. I feel like my body is to blame for not keeping my baby in a
safer environment (the amniotic fluid level), as well as resisting the
artificial induction hormones to jump-start my labor. I think some of this mistrust
stems from my frustration with my body for my previous health problems. Nonetheless,
it has been a huge hurdle to overcome in my healing process.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>Conclusion:<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ve had almost ten months to reflect on what I went
through. I’ve also had almost ten months to experience a completely foreign
life called motherhood. It has been such a joy and a challenge. I have suffered
so much, and struggled in so many different ways. Hopefully that means I’ve
grown in so many different ways too…<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ironically enough, motherhood did not come easily to me. I
spent so much time worrying about my birthing experience, and told Luke
repeatedly that I wasn’t worried about actually having a baby. I thought I knew
what I was going to do once I had him – after all, nurturing is as easy as
breathing to me. It’s in my nature. I’ve been babysitting since I was eight. I
helped my mom raise my brother and take care of the house. I was a nanny for
four kids one summer, several years ago. Motherhood, I thought, I could handle…I
couldn’t have been more wrong. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The first few months were difficult because Luke and I were
maneuvering through the uncharted waters of parenthood, as well as because I
was healing (very sloooowly). Not to mention, we weren’t sleeping. Oh, and my
husband was in grad school. I’ve always known I need a decent amount of sleep
to be a pleasant person. This past year definitely solidified that belief.
Running on 3-4 hours of sleep for <i>months
without end </i>did not allow me to be my best self. I’m grateful that I have a
husband who loves me so much to forgive me, and a baby who will not remember
those months. All of a sudden, I was running with my tank on empty, but the
demands on my time and energy were more than they had ever been. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I also had to reconfigure many of my perceptions and beliefs
in how I wanted to parent. There were so many preconceived notions that I just
had to throw out the window, either because they didn’t work for us, or because
something I had previously been against did work. I didn’t have time to delve
too deeply into my changing philosophies. This helpless little baby <i>needed</i> me. I just had to do what I felt
was right, and roll with it. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Despite the toll it took on me physically and emotionally, I
did everything I could to give my baby what he needed. He wasn’t a great
sleeper – so I carried him in a wrap during the day and slept on the floor of
the nursery at night. We tried so many different things! This boy has a strong
will – crying it out didn't work, everyone sleeping in the same room didn't
work because Luke was waking up every 45 minutes with me and Jesse, and it was
affecting his performance in school. We discovered “The Happiest Baby on the
Block” and the 5 S’s. Naps in the swing helped, white noise helped, swaddling
helped (we swaddled him until he was about 6 months old). A recorded track of
Luke “shushing” helped. Despite everything, though, Jesse just had a tough time
sleeping both during the day and at night for about the first 6 months. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We also struggled with nursing for months (and we still are,
with different challenges these days) – but I endured the pain, discomfort and
demands on my time, so that I could provide him with the best nourishment I
could. Nowadays I just have to be
creative in keeping him distracted enough to settle down and nurse, while not
providing too much distraction that he won’t nurse. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There are so many ways my life is changed. I can’t do many
of the things I used to take for granted – going out on a regular basis with my
husband, going to bed when I wanted to (rather than sleeping when the baby
sleeps!), putting my feet up to read a book or play video games, even watching
movies at home (with a sound system right underneath the nursery…yeah, that’s
not happening!). Luke has had to take over the gardening. I also have less time
in the kitchen, which has sucked, because I miss baking! My life is run on Baby
Standard Time – meaning I’m basically on call 24-7 to meet the needs of this
little boy. I understand that some of it is my own choosing, in the ways I have
decided to parent my child. But some of it is simply the nature of being a
full-time parent. It has been the hardest year of my life. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Here's the deal though: I am
completely in love with this little boy! Despite everything I've gone through
in the past year and a half, I would not take any of it back, because it
brought me him. This is where I was meant to be. He makes my life complete. He
makes our family complete. I never knew how much my heart could grow until I
fell I love with him. I feel as though I've become a different person. I feel
more fulfilled with the work I do every day than I have ever been in my life.
The privilege of spending each and every day with this little guy makes my
heart sing. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I love the way he throws his
head back to laugh at everything. I love the way his face scrunches up and how
big his lower lip gets when he cries. I love that he comes to me to tell me
when he's hurting, and that I am the one he wants to comfort him. I love how
excited every fiber of his being gets when he sees the kitty. I love the way he
rests his head on my shoulder when he's just about asleep. I love seeing his
little hand creep under the door when I'm going to the bathroom. I love how he
begs for food whenever Luke and I are eating. I love watching him trying to
figure things out. I love it when he laughs at his burps. I love that he sings
along when Luke sings to him. I love how messy he (and I, by default) gets! I
love his fearlessness. I love watching the gears in his little mind turn as he
makes a new connection. I love his open-mouthed kisses. I love his
determination. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I love how much fun it has
been to watch him grow up so far, but I hate how fast it is going! <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So, yes, giving birth was the
craziest thing I had ever experienced in my life, up to the point. But I am so
glad that I did it, and I would do it all over again in a heartbeat, because my
little boy made it totally worth it!<o:p></o:p></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16085587215451486468noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8909144548525147399.post-13023305177709443472014-01-05T21:40:00.000-08:002014-01-18T21:41:12.230-08:00Home videos on YouTube<a href="http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLgPE3KZH6S_qhJUqzevLKItoGc0MbH-l0" target="_blank">Here's the link to our YouTube playlist,</a> which I have created so everyone can watch videos of this little guy. I'll try and keep sending out emails to let you know when I have added videos.<br />
<br />
Enjoy!Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16085587215451486468noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8909144548525147399.post-71317223896687807552014-01-05T21:37:00.000-08:002014-01-18T21:38:03.560-08:00Journal entry - January 4<div dir="ltr">
Journal entry - January 4</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
Jesse's words:</div>
<div dir="ltr">
Most of the words he says are some variation of bu or wa, but he's getting better at communicating. Mama is his general word for expressing upset or asking for something. </div>
<div dir="ltr">
Book (bu)<br />
Bath (ba)<br />
Ducky (du)<br />
Beep -as in, anything that beeps, mainly the microwave (bu)<br />
Laundry - whenever he sees the washer or dryer (wa)<br />
Water (wa)<br />
Bottle (ba)<br />
Ball (ba)<br />
Wash - he says this (and reaches for the cloth) when he's done eating because we wash his face with a washcloth (wa)<br />
Food (Ff)<br />
Up (uh, or mama)<br />
Dad (da or dad)<br />
Mama<br />
Kitty (Kk)<br />
Tree (Tt)<br />
Light (Tt)<br />
That </div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
He recognizes a lot of words too, even if he's not saying them. And after 7 months of trying to teach him sign language, finally he will sometimes make the sign for more when he's eating. </div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
He loves walking with his walker toy. I think it really gave him the confidence he needed to try walking on his own since it happened about a week after he started playing with the walker).<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
His new favorite thing to do with his walker and his learning table? Turn them over. Lol!</div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
His favorite food is still green beans. He now will smear them all over the top of his sippy cup to let me know he's done eating. </div>
<div dir="ltr">
<br /></div>
<div dir="ltr">
He still loves water in every way. His new favorite thing is to try and drink from mom or dad's cup. He's actually gotten pretty good at it, although it usually ends up with us all getting soaked. <br />
</div>
Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16085587215451486468noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8909144548525147399.post-28670331697620037732013-11-17T13:39:00.000-08:002013-12-03T13:43:29.338-08:00Thirty <div class="has-preview text-preview" id="file-viewer">
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ynvXUyXz00M/Up5PeirajEI/AAAAAAAAED4/YZzyx6FamF8/s1600/2013-11-01+17.38.13.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="225" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ynvXUyXz00M/Up5PeirajEI/AAAAAAAAED4/YZzyx6FamF8/s400/2013-11-01+17.38.13.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Me and my cute boy on my birthday!</td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">So, I have officially entered a new decade of my life. Yup, I'm thirty. Typing that really freaks me out. I may be one of those people who decides to celebrate their 29th birthday multiple times...at least until my looks catch up to me. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Nah, I suppose being thirty isn't that bad. After all, <a href="http://www.glamour.com/entertainment/2013/08/olivia-wilde-s-advice-for-turning-30">if Olivia Wilde can feel good about it, </a>so can I. She actually makes some good points there. Mostly, it just feels surreal, like I should still be a kid or something. </span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I don't feel like I always thought I would feel at this age. </span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I remember when my mom turned thirty. Mostly because I spent the night of her big party puking my guts out in her bathroom, and my friend Jeffery's mom came in to take care of me. She gave me pepto bismol, which I then colored the toilet pink with. I was not a happy camper that night. And I was jealous that I couldn't sneak out to spy on the party. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Anyway. The past year and a half has been a bit of a whirlwind. I feel like my birthday kind of snuck up on me. Granted, I've been thinking about it for awhile. I just don't know that I was ready to leave my twenties behind. I thought I ought to do something monumental to bring on the new, more mature me. So I made a list of all the things I've put off doing for one reason or another, that I really want to get done. And I'm going to do them. All thirty of them. While I am thirty. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">Thirty list </span></span></div>
<ol>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>Organize the millions of pictures that I've taken -</b> especially over the last year. </span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>Upload all the videos I've taken of Jesse </b>(and figure out a system to keep them current). I'm working on that one, but too slowly. </span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>Camcorder DVD conversion - </b>I have a bunch of old videos from my childhood and teenage years that I'd like to preserve.</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>Organize my external hard drive.</b></span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>Scan mine and Luke's childhood scrapbooks.</b></span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>Lose the excess 20 from my twenties </b>(pounds, that is). More importantly, I just want to get fit, so I can feel good about my weight/size.</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>Take more self portraits. </b>I love to take pictures, but when I don't feel I look my best, I tend to hide behind the camera. I want my little boy to have lots of pictures of me WITH him!</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>Get dressed more regularly </b>(as much as I love staying in my PJ's all day).</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>Floss daily. </b>Yes, I have worked in the dental field for most of my adult life. No, I don't floss on a regular basis. /hide</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>Clean out and organize my clothes. </b>Um, I still have my maternity clothes hanging up in my closet...</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>Read to Jesse daily. </b>He loves his books, but we kind of get caught in our daily routine, which doesn't always involve new and exciting books. Especially since he started eating all his books, so I put them out of reach. </span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>Sing more. </b>Out loud. Even though that terrifies me. Lol!</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>Be more socially active </b>(take advantage of my time in <a href="http://mbasa.byu.edu/">MBASA</a>).</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>Read more books. </b>This one I have actually been doing - Luke signed up for audible.com this summer while he was commuting, and has kept it active for me. I can get so much done while I listen to a good book!</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>Try more new recipes. </b></span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>Start blogging again </b>(both my personal and my food blog).</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>Journal consistently </b>- weekly at least, if not more! There is so much going on in my life every day </span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">with this little guy</span></span>! I don't want to forget it!</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>De-clutter my house. </b>I am a bit of a pack rat, and now that my days are consumed by being a mom, it's starting to show!</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>Be ready to move </b>(i.e., don't procrastinate!). Thankfully, I found <a href="http://www.5minutesformom.com/83729/5-steps-to-stress-free-moving/">this awesome set of tips</a>, including a full checklist to make sure everything gets done in the right order. Totally taking advantage of it. Hopefully, the company Luke gets hired by will help us with the moving - either by sending movers, which a lot of these companies do, or at least compensating us for the cost. This'll be the first big move he and I do on our own! Yikes!!</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>Clean the floors more often. </b>I am terrible at this! But I have become so conscious of it with a little guy who loves roaming around the house. I've been working on it already, but I could definitely be better!</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>Figure out some sort of housekeeping system,</b> or at least start some weekly/monthly routine so I can focus on one task at a time, and not feel so overwhelmed all the time. </span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>Create a <a href="http://www.bowerpowerblog.com/2011/04/happiness-has-arrived/">family yearbook</a>. </b>I have a couple of friends who have done this, and I love the idea! I REALLY want to do it. Even if I can't order the books until we have money, I want to get them made!</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>Learn more about personal finance. </b>Luke took this class in business school, and the professor has put all his lectures and text online for public use. I wanted to do it at the same time as Luke was in the class, but just couldn't keep up. However, I really would like to understand it all better, so I'm going to at least watch the lectures. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>Brush/bathe the cat on a regular basis. </b>My baby girl has been replaced by a more demanding baby, so I haven't really kept her as groomed as I would like to. She's starting to get old, and I don't want her to suffer from poor health as a result of bad hygiene. Oh the guilt!</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>Eat better. </b>T'is the season, right? Ha! I have been following the cheap and easy diet these days, which doesn't always help me feel my best. I am going to change that! I'm also going to eat less sweets.</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>Be more positive. </b>Easier said than done, right?!</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>Create a home emergency plan/72 hour kits.</b></span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>Organize a meal plan system. </b>I tend to get stuck in cooking ruts, but I love eating new food. I also get tired of eating the same thing day after day. I am terrible at structured meal planning, but I'd like to come up with something that will help me keep our meals exciting, our grocery trips few, and our budget in check. </span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>Get better at managing my time. </b>I *thought* I was busy once upon a time when I didn't have a kid. Now I know better. I miss my free time. But I am also not the best at taking advantage of what time I do have. </span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;"><b>Pick back up an old hobby. </b>I keep going back and forth between sewing and playing the piano. I would like to someday be good at both. I have easy access to everything I'd need for either. Just have to choose one (or both, if I get really ambitious!). </span></span></li>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">So, here goes. I've actually been working on some of these since I started writing this list. But, I've got quite a lot of work cut out for me.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Georgia,"Times New Roman",serif;">I suppose I'll have to follow up next year. Stay tuned... </span></span></div>
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Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16085587215451486468noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8909144548525147399.post-16103112737335008322013-10-23T09:07:00.000-07:002014-01-18T21:35:42.227-08:00Journal entry - October 22<div dir="ltr">
Journal entry - October 22</div>
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Jesse is 9 months old now. I can hardly believe it! He is such a grown up little boy now, and so different from the baby he used to be.</div>
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I have finally finished recording Jesse's birth story. Luke and I were talking (because I had him read it), and it feels like that was a lifetime ago. It's crazy how much has happened since then, how much we have each changed. And at the same time, some of those memories are still so fresh. I think we both still have a lot of resentment toward the way things happened with getting Jesse here. </div>
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Jesse has got these funny little tendencies. He likes to look up at lights whenever we walk under them. He loves watching the fan in his room, especially when I've just turned it off and it's slowing down. Part of his nighttime ritual with Luke is to look at everything in the closet after we read Little Dinosaur. He likes to reach out for the hangers especially. </div>
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He has also started carrying things around in his mouth. He loves to chew on my nursing pads, and carries them like a little dog. He also carries around his puppy slipper and any socks he gets a hold of. I laugh, because it's so backward from the normal dog carrying socks and slippers around like chew toys.</div>
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He is so talkative and makes such cute and funny noises. He does his little "angry" breathing, but now he keeps his teeth clenched, and it's more of a spitty sound. He does a lot of spitty talking these days. He also clicks his tongue a lot, which is cute. If he sees me or Luke do it, he'll do it too..</div>
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He also likes to talk with his mouth full of food. He makes these bub bub sounds, and thinks it's hilarious when food comes out of his mouth. He also cracks up whenever anyone burps. <br />
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Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16085587215451486468noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8909144548525147399.post-37961928822151748452013-10-13T04:05:00.000-07:002014-01-18T21:36:53.882-08:00Journal entry - October 13<div dir="ltr">
Journal entry - October 13</div>
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Jesse's had a harder time going to bed at night the past couple nights. He also wakes up 3 times most nights. I'm feeling like I'm not getting enough sleep, but it's been hard to try and go to bed when he does. I have so much to do, and it's not getting done. </div>
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Jesse is able to pull himself up to standing now without any help. He loves to use me as leverage, and once he's up, he'll bounce and dance and talk and try to get at anything within his reach. He also now sits up anytime he's awake in his crib. The other day, I had just laid him down for a nap. As soon as I moved my hands away, he rolled on to his stomach and pushed himself up. Once he was sitting, he woke up! It was really funny, other than him being too awake to fall back to sleep after that. </div>
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He does this funny little thing where he will reach out to things he's interested in. He stretches his right arm out, with his hand open and his palm facing up or to the side. He looks like he's about to give a speech. It makes me and Luke laugh.</div>
Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16085587215451486468noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8909144548525147399.post-90177438796866313832013-04-20T13:16:00.000-07:002013-04-20T13:16:51.176-07:00Milestone: First LaughYeah, I'm getting ahead of myself with the video posting. I still haven't even gone through the rest of the videos on my camera or phone. But I really couldn't NOT share this one...<br />
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04-16 Jesse's First Laugh<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/SUJbns4mIlg" width="420"></iframe><br />
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LOVE!!!Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16085587215451486468noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8909144548525147399.post-54236547980451433682013-04-15T13:54:00.000-07:002013-04-16T14:49:52.518-07:00Video TimeWe seem to have accumulated quite a few videos of Jesse already! I thought I'd better get started on sharing them before he gets too big! Enjoy :)<br />
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2/10 - Party Rockin' with Dad<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/JiQBalO4gZ0" width="560"></iframe><br />
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2/17 - Sleeping<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/t9VIfd4aRiA" width="420"></iframe><br />
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2/17 - Sleeping Part 2<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/5X6DlKsTvBU" width="420"></iframe><br />
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2/17 - Waking Up<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/wKvgWJqPzJ0" width="420"></iframe><br />
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2/19 - Talking with Mom<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/6RPALfMLsD0" width="420"></iframe><br />
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2/25 Talking<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/QNgtz7r8NVk" width="420"></iframe><br />
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PS: Sorry about the video quality. Most of them were taken with my phone (yes, I'm turning into one of those...).<br />
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Anyway, I'll keep posting them as I get through them!<br />
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Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16085587215451486468noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8909144548525147399.post-33995132266491068092013-03-15T03:35:00.000-07:002013-04-08T12:57:49.261-07:00I think someone is tired...Here's a funny picture that I took yesterday. I've been trying to be more aware of his sleepy cues, rather than just waiting for him to fall asleep, so we can establish better nap times. I think its working so far!<br />
We are also trying a couple other things - having him sleep exclusively in his swing (which really seems to help keep him asleep) and if he's not upset, putting him in the swing sleepy but awake. I'm liking the results! Last night, he slept for 11 out of 14 hours, including two 4-hour sleeps. It was incredible!!!<br />
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<a href="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-UqAMBzYcshg/UUNWWKx-fYI/AAAAAAAAD1s/3dSYx4df6vc/s1600/IMAG1170-1-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" height="261" src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/-UqAMBzYcshg/UUNWWKx-fYI/AAAAAAAAD1s/3dSYx4df6vc/s400/IMAG1170-1-1.jpg" width="400" /> </a></div>
Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16085587215451486468noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8909144548525147399.post-35361916776190159332013-03-10T17:20:00.000-07:002013-04-16T13:38:51.868-07:00Cute Boy Sleeping<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Somebody fell asleep while nursing...and didn't realize that he wasn't still enjoying lunch.</div>
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(hoping this video thing works - if so, I will share many more!)</div>
Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16085587215451486468noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8909144548525147399.post-23833195957054887942013-03-10T12:46:00.000-07:002013-04-16T13:25:50.663-07:00I don't deal well with change...I am finally starting to accept the fact that if I want to keep up with my blogs, which I do, I'm going to have to do it from my rocking chair. I have resisted this so far because the whole blogging by phone concept seems so, I don't know, untraditional to me. I like the idea of sitting down and typing everything up, and being able to see it all in front of me on my computer screen. It's what I'm used to, its what I've always done, I like doing it that way and I don't want to change. Now I sound like my grandma...who won't even turn on the computer she was given by her tech savvy sons, by the way. <br />
For now, I don't think I get the luxury of blogging the "old fashioned" way. At least not until my baby is not nursing 12 hours a day...or maybe sleeping more, allowing me to actually sleep more too, and not spend every waking hour in a daze, trying to nap every time he does, and going days without showers or clean dishes.<br />
So, here goes nothing ;)Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16085587215451486468noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8909144548525147399.post-60148458481075178252013-02-11T13:09:00.000-08:002013-04-08T13:11:46.828-07:00Jesse's birth - in pictures<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Being a new parent has been completely overwhelming and time-consuming, to say the least. Even with a lot of help from my family, I have not been able to do much more than eat, sleep, and take care of this little guy. </div>
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I plan on sharing our birth story...eventually. For now, here are some photos from the momentous occasion:</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Meeting our baby.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-4qkhA5adCdQ/UWMiomG_gfI/AAAAAAAAD2k/Dy_qndbno2A/s1600/IMG_4116.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-4qkhA5adCdQ/UWMiomG_gfI/AAAAAAAAD2k/Dy_qndbno2A/s400/IMG_4116.JPG" width="266" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Snuggling!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-aJsJmJoUv0s/UWMipF90IKI/AAAAAAAAD2w/kci1GboEDKw/s1600/IMG_4126.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-aJsJmJoUv0s/UWMipF90IKI/AAAAAAAAD2w/kci1GboEDKw/s400/IMG_4126.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Hangin' with Dad.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-BdfDaQGv5Cw/UWMiq8T-94I/AAAAAAAAD3Y/I2sczb6hLuo/s1600/IMG_4155.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-BdfDaQGv5Cw/UWMiq8T-94I/AAAAAAAAD3Y/I2sczb6hLuo/s400/IMG_4155.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">So in love.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-W7CwHDFBpxc/UWMirSuoLyI/AAAAAAAAD3k/Af6qOLaY4jI/s1600/IMG_4156.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-W7CwHDFBpxc/UWMirSuoLyI/AAAAAAAAD3k/Af6qOLaY4jI/s400/IMG_4156.JPG" width="266" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Leaving the hospital.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-d5mIn9vMNhE/UWMirglFjXI/AAAAAAAAD3s/nDo4saXBTf8/s1600/IMG_4158.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-d5mIn9vMNhE/UWMirglFjXI/AAAAAAAAD3s/nDo4saXBTf8/s400/IMG_4158.JPG" width="266" /></a></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-dyaE25DlNZw/UWMisP2E1lI/AAAAAAAAD30/WM0dso2mrk8/s1600/IMG_4169.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-dyaE25DlNZw/UWMisP2E1lI/AAAAAAAAD30/WM0dso2mrk8/s400/IMG_4169.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">First night home!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16085587215451486468noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8909144548525147399.post-69092754073284166382013-02-08T14:53:00.000-08:002013-04-08T13:11:04.010-07:00Our Bundle of Joy<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-M7vYwEjrZa4/UWMgD-yqbSI/AAAAAAAAD2A/bzb6ti_Bqt4/s1600/announcement+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-M7vYwEjrZa4/UWMgD-yqbSI/AAAAAAAAD2A/bzb6ti_Bqt4/s400/announcement+1.jpg" width="330" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">He's finally here!!!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16085587215451486468noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8909144548525147399.post-17480314870392526432012-12-30T08:34:00.000-08:002013-01-16T19:25:27.414-08:00Leaving 2012Happy end of 2012!<br />
<br />
What a year this has been - the year of changes, maybe? The year of craziness? The year that was at the same time never-ending and a whirlwind that flew by?<br />
<br />
For Stephanie - it was definitely an insane year. The first four months were a challenge, with working 70-80 hour work-weeks (including commuting all over Utah!!). Then getting pregnant VERY quickly! And then FEELING pregnant very quickly. Preparing to leave behind the career that has been greatly invested in over the past 5 1/2 years. Preparing for the next big adventure - MOMMYHOOD!<br />
<br />
For Luke - What a wild year! Working full-time and going to school. Getting into grad school! Graduating from UVU! Putting up with a sick and cranky wife for MONTHS!! Starting business school at BYU (more time-consuming than working and going to school ever was...and more rewarding). Surviving the first semester (and getting good grades too!)!! Getting ready to become a DADDY!<br />
<br />
As the year draws to a close, Stephanie is feeling "great with child." Thankfully, Luke continues to tell her she "looks great" with child ;)<br />
<br />
Here's to a brighter, more adventurous new year in 2013!Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16085587215451486468noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8909144548525147399.post-40752670560806499382012-12-08T19:27:00.000-08:002013-01-16T19:40:46.309-08:00Dear Baby BoyDear Baby Boy,<br />
<br />
I don't know If I'm ready for this whole birth thing (not to mention, parenthood), but I'm ready for this stage to end.<br />
<br />
I am feeling so frustrated by my limited capabilities. I'm tired all the time. Breathless. Unable to hold myself upright. My muscles are constantly feeling stretched out, sore, aching. I'm having more tailbone pain. And hip pain. Still suffering through feeling nauseated every day or two (still doped up on zofran, unisom and B6 all the time too!). Thankfully the leg cramps have not been as bad - they were waking me up at least once a night. I have to pee every hour, or more. When I'm in bed, I have to switch sides just as often too, because my hips go numb and ache, and send pain down my legs. I've had the worst pain I've felt over the past 2 days. It's like a low stomping on my cervix, almost like cramps. It takes my breath away, and brings tears to my eyes. If you keep this up, its going to be a long month...<br />
<br />
Okay, enough complaining. Life isn't ALL misery. There are some good things too, I promise!<br />
<br />
I like to guess what part of you is where, based on the kicks, jabs and bumps I'm feeling almost constantly. I also like to assume what you like and don't like, depending on your activity. "Someone likes this chocolate," or "Someone is not a fan of... (whatever it is I'm doing or something Luke says)."<br />
<br />
My favorite thing right now - Kitty curling up to my belly. You seem to like kicking her when she does this. I've had to train her to not sit on my belly anymore, but she does love to cuddle. Either you like it too, or you're getting a head start on torturing her.<br />
<br />
My favorite place right now is the pool at BYU! You seem to enjoy it as well. I'm not very fast, but it feels good to take some of the weight off my body. I alternate between swimming breaststroke and walking the laps. Best idea ever!<br />
<br />
Like I said, you are almost always on the move these days. However, you tend to be very busy in the early afternoons and around bedtime. Also, you generally move a lot right after I eat.<br />
<br />
I'm getting really stoked to be done working - it feels like a lot more work, even though I've been doing less, and working less hours the past few months. I'm also really excited for Luke's 3 week winter break!<br />
<br />
I can't believe the year is almost over, and at the same time, I want to fast forward the next month!! I'm getting so excited to hold you in my arms!<br />
<br />
Love,<br />
MommyStephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16085587215451486468noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8909144548525147399.post-91260716111609463362012-11-11T19:12:00.000-08:002013-01-16T19:15:35.182-08:00Dear Baby BoyDear Baby Boy,<br />
<br />
I think you are definitely going to be an athlete. You are always moving around in there! I'm pretty sure you've learned how to use my hip bone as a diving board, because I feel you pressing up against it, and then I feel you on the other side of my body, as if you used it to push off of! You have also started exploring my ribcage. That's fun.<br />
<br />
The girls at work are always asking to feel you kicking. The other day Whitney grabbed my belly and jiggled it around a bit, which I think woke you up. I'd imagine you were not happy about it, because you got very violent for a few minutes. I'll try and keep the belly shaking to a minimum from now on ;)<br />
<br />
Your dad and I were talking the other night, wondering what you look like right now. I hope you're growing and staying healthy! I found <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jl0V9H5TVis&feature=colike">this video</a> yesterday, which made me cry. It's of a baby that was born at 30 weeks. He's so tiny. What a miracle that he was able to survive! Please stay in as long as you need to! At least...until we hit 41 weeks. Then I might start getting impatient to see you.<br />
<br />
Who am I kidding? I'm already impatient to see you!!!<br />
<br />
Love,<br />
MommyStephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16085587215451486468noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8909144548525147399.post-84416002797350098112012-11-06T18:25:00.000-08:002012-11-08T18:33:47.589-08:00Dear Baby BoyDear Baby Boy,<br />
<br />
We're getting so big! I've gained 5 lbs in the past 3 weeks, and my belly is now getting wider, as well as more protrusive. I keep running into things w/ it, like the edge of the kitchen counter and doors. It's hard to gauge how much space I need now, and I've got quite a few years under my belt at being the size I used to be. Tough habit to break ;)<br />
<br />
I often wonder what you are doing in there. I feel bad that I can't make more room for you to be comfy. I feel you stretching and bumping around, and I'm sure you're starting to get annoyed by how crammed things are. Sorry! Only about 10 more weeks, and you can come out! I'm getting so excited! Although everyone tells me I need to enjoy the peace and quiet of you being nicely contained. I am. My favorite thing to do is just sit and watch you squirm around in my belly. I can see and feel you moving in multiple places at once now. It's quite a show!<br />
<br />
I can't wait to hold you in my arms. Keep growing and getting fat in there! My phone app says you're just about as long as you're going to get (17ish inches), and you weigh almost 3 lbs. So you've got some weight to put on. I hope you're long and lean, like your dad. I love you so much.<br />
<br />
Love,<br />
Mommy<br />
<br />
P.S. We voted today. Here's a picture your dad took:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-yMECe8bsoHk/UJxrSpYvtYI/AAAAAAAAD0Q/YgsMYDeuzEs/s1600/Voted.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-yMECe8bsoHk/UJxrSpYvtYI/AAAAAAAAD0Q/YgsMYDeuzEs/s400/Voted.jpg" width="266" /></a></div>
<br />Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16085587215451486468noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8909144548525147399.post-49635039878542667242012-10-29T01:05:00.000-07:002012-10-29T09:28:53.458-07:00Baby registry/What we needSo, I've been working on getting my registry up to speed. Who knew shopping for a baby could be so much work!<br />
<br />
I've set up registries at both Babies R Us and Amazon.com. Both have some great gear - Amazon seems to have a lot of the same things at a bit of a lower price. That's why there are a few duplicates on both lists.<br />
<br />
Call, email or facebook message me if you have any questions about my registry!<br />
<br />
<br />
Stephanie and Luke's Amazon Baby Registry: <a href="http://www.amazon.com/registry/baby/123Z7F3PGPLY0">http://www.amazon.com/registry/baby/123Z7F3PGPLY0</a><br />
<br />
Sorry, I don't see a direct share link on Babies R Us, so just go here, and search using my name and location: <a href="http://www.toysrus.com/registry/index.jsp?ab=BRU_Header:Utility2:Baby-Registry:Registry">http://www.toysrus.com/registry/index.jsp?ab=BRU_Header:Utility2:Baby-Registry:Registry</a><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
We've had a lot of people ask for what we still need. So, here's what we have, and basically, we need everything else:<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>Crib (we don't have a mattress for it, but I've got that on my registry)</li>
<li>Changing table (got a killer deal on a used one, it's very nice, just don't have the changing pad or baskets)</li>
<li>Rocking chair (one for me, and one for baby - which is absolutely adorable!)</li>
<li>Clothes - we acquired quite a few items for baby's first year, thanks to BYU's Gifts of the Heart Exchange. We still need some onesies, little accessories (socks, hats, etc.)...and everything else a baby needs his first year</li>
<li>Oh yeah, and my in-laws have hinted that they know the stroller/car seat combo I want (I'm assuming Luke told them), so I'm pretty sure that's being taken care of</li>
</ul>
<br />
Thank you so much to everyone who is helping us! We are so grateful to have such loving, giving family and friends!! We, and our precious little boy, definitely appreciate you all <3 p="p"></3>Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16085587215451486468noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8909144548525147399.post-86676855938466973692012-10-27T09:06:00.000-07:002012-10-29T09:09:40.978-07:00Growing that baby!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Here's a sneak peek at my maternity pics. I think this one might just be my favorite! I've got some other projects I'm working on, but I can't wait to get the rest of these edited and shared!!</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-G52zBzmrlx8/UI6p05FmcYI/AAAAAAAADzs/-Tbn6vhaYho/s1600/IMG_35011.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-G52zBzmrlx8/UI6p05FmcYI/AAAAAAAADzs/-Tbn6vhaYho/s640/IMG_35011.jpg" width="426" /></a></div>
<br />Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16085587215451486468noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8909144548525147399.post-31302890971603572702012-10-26T11:57:00.000-07:002012-10-29T09:02:26.506-07:00Passing the Test<div>
The gestational diabetes glucose tolerance test, that is. And yes, I did pass! Hooray!<br />
<br />
The night before was pretty rough. I was sick, and nervous, and rhythm stressed because I was sick and nervous. Needless to say, I slept pretty poorly, even by my standards of late.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-V0TGE0nagBg/UI6oBoHDK3I/AAAAAAAADzk/Jsn1U6hDbO8/s1600/glucose.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-V0TGE0nagBg/UI6oBoHDK3I/AAAAAAAADzk/Jsn1U6hDbO8/s400/glucose.jpg" width="225" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">At least it's gluten free...</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Got up bright and early, determined to just get it over with. I headed to the lab (I was the first one there, so no waiting). The phlebotomists were really nice, and did a great job. Drinking the glucose was difficult for me, I really thought I was going to be sick before I even got it down. But I persevered, and managed to drink the whole thing. Then came the hardest part - the first hour of waiting. As soon as I sat down in the waiting room, I busted out the hypnosis tracks, and tried to focus on staying calm and relaxed, rather than feeling what my body was putting me through. It was difficult, but I managed to keep myself mostly there. When the first hour blood draw came up, I came out of hypnosis, and felt the full force of how reallllly sick I was. Almost threw up there :( Spent a few minutes in the bathroom calming down, washing my face and neck with cold water, and focusing on my breathing. Then I went to wait some more. Got back into hypnosis, and stayed there for another half hour or so.<br />
<br />
Luke showed up just before my second hour draw, which was great. He really helped keep me calm. After they took my blood that time, I was actually feeling okay - as in, not like I was going to puke. Mainly I just felt exhausted. Like my body had given up fighting the sugar. I just had no energy. So I sat there, with Luke holding my hand as he studied, and rested. I tried to sleep, but it didn't work. I couldn't read (still too sick for that). So I just sat there. By that fourth draw, I was just relieved to be able to go home. I really wanted to sleep. But I forced myself to eat some breakfast - eggs, bacon and GF toast. Then I got sick all over again. So I laid down, and slept for a bit.<br />
<br />
But! I managed to get through the day without throwing up! We survived! The little guy was super active the whole day. I'm pretty sure he loves sugar as much as his dad ;)<br />
<br />
<br />
I'm really glad I was able to use my <a href="http://hypnobabies.com/">hypnosis</a> to get through the hardest parts. I think it was a good exercise for what is to come. I feel pretty great about the next three months.<br />
<br />
Now I want to celebrate! Milkshake maybe? Too bad I kind of killed my appetite for my favorite Jamba Juice after my initial test last week :P<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-9TZxbQt0UHs/UI6ntNmddII/AAAAAAAADzc/xnyntDRTgGs/s1600/Jamba.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-9TZxbQt0UHs/UI6ntNmddII/AAAAAAAADzc/xnyntDRTgGs/s400/Jamba.jpg" width="353" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Drank this for the initial screening test. It was so good, and so hard!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br /></div>
Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16085587215451486468noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8909144548525147399.post-39867983718129852742012-10-20T13:30:00.000-07:002012-10-29T08:46:01.632-07:00The Final Trimester Begins<div>
Third trimester already?! I can hardly believe it! This all still feels so surreal at times. But my boy is still happily bouncing around in there, so I have enough moments of it feeling real. I'm getting so excited for our little coffee bean to be here!<br />
Technically, according to my husband, my third trimester began several days ago (by dividing 40 weeks equally in three means that there are 13.33 weeks per trimester, so my second trimester ended after about 26 weeks and 5 days - so, like, Thurs, Oct. 11th?). I suppose it doesn't matter too much. I'm not on a deadline, just waiting for this little guy to be done cookin' in there :)<br />
<br />
Guess I started things off on the wrong foot, because on Thursday, I failed my initial glucose screening! So, I get to go suffer through the the hour glucose tolerance test. I remember doing that when I was a kid, and they were diagnosing my hypoglycemia. Not a fan. Add morning sickness to the mix (yes, I'm still not over that!), and it's sure to be a fun adventure. <br />
<br />
<br />
We had fun over the weekend - Took my maternity pictures down at The Grotto on Saturday. I think there are some really cute ones! Post coming soon! Then we got to talk w/ Millie and Ruben in Holland on Sunday via Skype. Ira is getting so big, and he is such a happy baby! Thanks for all the advice guys!<br />
<br />
We're still sick, going on 2 weeks now :( Hopefully we can shake this soon. I really don't want to be sick the rest of my pregnancy, which is what I hear happens about the third trimester if you get sick...time to up the tea consumption!</div>
Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16085587215451486468noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8909144548525147399.post-43273187360503595872012-10-03T20:47:00.000-07:002012-10-29T08:48:22.013-07:00Happy Anniversary!<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-gSw8RPLkjvE/UI6lCA_fUtI/AAAAAAAADzI/vCSute7kDhY/s1600/IMG_11661.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-gSw8RPLkjvE/UI6lCA_fUtI/AAAAAAAADzI/vCSute7kDhY/s400/IMG_11661.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Best nine years of my life!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16085587215451486468noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8909144548525147399.post-74158774848474884182012-10-02T22:03:00.000-07:002012-10-02T22:04:18.135-07:00Things I love...I love that I can feel my little baby moving all the time now! He is so incredibly active! It's visible from the outside too. The girls at work are amused by it. So am I.<br />
<br />
I love to just sit and watch my belly jump and twitch. It's a little creepy...but mostly awesome! Unless he's got his foot pressed up against my strained muscle. That hurts a bit. But I still love him.<br />
<br />
I can't wait for him to be here! 15 weeks and counting (give or take...).<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-hHJKhQNc5bA/UGvGOV1qyAI/AAAAAAAADyQ/8gHZhLbU2Zo/s1600/Phone1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-hHJKhQNc5bA/UGvGOV1qyAI/AAAAAAAADyQ/8gHZhLbU2Zo/s640/Phone1.jpg" width="433" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">So ready to do this with my own baby! I borrowed this cute girl from a coworker.<br />
She didn't mind, and neither did I ;)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16085587215451486468noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8909144548525147399.post-6857138051838614602012-09-29T09:12:00.001-07:002013-04-08T12:56:55.362-07:00Tuning Out Negativity This article is awesome. It is a great reminder to me especially, as I am dealing with many things I can choose to see negatively, or not.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://management.fortune.cnn.com/2012/08/09/colleagues-complaining-why-you-need-to-tune-it-out/">http://management.fortune.cnn.com/2012/08/09/colleagues-complaining-why-you-need-to-tune-it-out/</a>Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16085587215451486468noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8909144548525147399.post-33584112849743024972012-09-07T22:30:00.000-07:002012-09-07T22:30:18.656-07:00Adventures in Baby GrowingLife has been pretty crazy these days. Here's the reader's digest version of what we've been up to these days.<br />
<br />
<u>The Hiccups: </u><br />
<br />
Luke started business school at BYU last month. It has been non-stop for the past 4 weeks! Literally. There is so much going on! He is insanely busy, completely overwhelmed, but man, this is going to be an awesome experience! He's learned a ton already! I just hope I get to see him sometime soon ;)<br />
<br />
Constipation. Not a pleasant side effect of pregnancy. Even worse when my anti-nausea medication compounds it. I've had a couple of pretty horrific experiences, of which I will spare you the details.<br />
<br />
Yesterday as I bent over to fix my shoe, I got this horrible pain in my belly. Six hours later, the pain had not subsided, and I was crying on the phone to my doctor, who was thankfully on-call at 12:30 AM. I was terrified that my placenta had abrupted, or that my bowels were obstructed, or that something was terribly wrong. The pain was so excruciating that I could barely breathe. Movement made it worse, but even lying in bed didn't ease much of it. After going through all my symptoms and non-symptoms, my doc determined that I had probably pulled a muscle in my abdomen. I went into her office this morning, and was checked out. She reaffirmed that I'm probably dealing with a strain to a ligament, which attaches right next to my belly button. Baby's heart rate was perfect, and he kept kicking the Doppler, so she said all is well there. Told me to continue taking Tylenol as needed, and rest more. Don't have to tell me twice!<br />
<br />
<u>The Good Stuff:</u><br />
<br />
I think I am officially over morning sickness. I have a couple days a week where I have some nausea when I wake up, but nothing Zofran can't help me deal with. Most days I'm feeling pretty good by 9:30 or 10, which is great! I'm able to do more, work more, and I'm also less tired.<br />
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I feel the little Coffee Bean moving a lot! It's still really soft, like little flutters, or what I call tickles. But I'm learning to distinguish his poking and prodding from my usual gastrointestinal feelings. It always puts a smile on my face, and I say hi to him when I feel him "waving" at me. Luke's even felt it a time or two, even though the movements aren't very frequent or consistent. Except when I eat chocolate. He seems to like that :)<br />
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We finally got to go to Seven Peaks water park this summer! I actually wish I had taken advantage of more opportunities earlier on, because the water in the lazy river felt so great! I'm excited though, because as the wife of a BYU student, I have access to all the campus facilities, including the pools. I think I will soon be spending a lot of time in water!<br />
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I'm starting to grow! Thanks to not being sick all the time, I can actually keep some food in my belly, and I'm putting on about a pound a week now. Yay!<br />
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We've acquired some good baby stuff. Thanks to the MBA Spouses Association (MBASA), I've been able to snag a few cute used baby items and some maternity clothes for free. We also found an awesome changing table for really cheap! It even matches the office furniture. Hooray!<br />
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I am loving my HypnoBabies birthing classes! They are getting me so excited about birth! I will post about them very soon.<br />
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Hmm, that's about it for now. I will post some pictures soon, I promise :)<br />
<br />Stephaniehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16085587215451486468noreply@blogger.com0